Introvert

Loneliness, awkwardness, emptiness, emotionally drained.  Those are the emotions that overtake me after a large social gathering especially when it involves having to interact with strangers.  I tend to be the girl who stands alone in the corner wishing to be outgoing and a social butterfly while inwardly praying that no one sees me and decides to strike up a conversation.  I tend to feel left out when I see groups talking and laughing but I also have no desire to join in.  I don’t like small talk, I prefer to have deeper conversations.

Unfriendly, depressed, shy, lack of social skills, antisocial, loner, friendless.  These are the attributes the general population associates with introverts.  I don’t lack in social skills I actually believe that I socialize better than most people my age.  I’m not depressed, I simply “crash” after too much emotional stimulation; i.e. parties, family or social gatherings, vacations.  I can only take so much interaction before I get irritated and seek out an empty room to regain my energy.  Introverts aren’t always loners or friendless.  I find it quite tiring to trying to get to know someone and I’m always happier with one or two close friends.

Reading was and still is my escape from reality.  It’s my way of tuning out the world when it gets too loud and I get grouchy when someone disturbs me.  Another quality that maybe not all but definitely a lot of introverts and myself have is always being fully aware of my surroundings.  I notice everything and usually remember both major and minor details about events.  I also remember every time I’ve felt embarrassed and think everyone else does too when in reality they probably didn’t notice.

Being an introvert isn’t something I chose to be, it’s not something I think anyone can choose to be.  You either are or you aren’t and I don’t see it as a bad thing. I just have different needs and different quirks, it’s what makes me unique and if people don’t like it that’s okay.  Give me a quiet room with a couple of books and this little introvert will be perfectly happy!

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Posted on September 14, 2014, in Blog and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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